January 22, 2016

God is still good

 photo Samantha and Corina  Family-0037_zpsluhxqsai.jpg

Hi friends. I'll cut to the chase... It might seem weird that I'm choosing to write and share this personal journey, perhaps with people I don't even know, at such a difficult time - and to be honest, I've been going back and forth in my head about it but I finally decided to do it. Why? I have a million reasons not to but a few good reasons that "pushed me over the edge".
  1. Well to be honest, I need an outlet. I'm riding an emotional roller coaster and there's only so many hours in a day that I can let my mind wander to "what-ifs" and worries about the future or regrets from the past. For some reason, I think putting pen to paper fingers to keyboard will bring some relief. Not to mention, give me something to put my nervous energy into.
  2. Secondly, as much as I love talking to each of you and hearing from you, I can't give the same update over and over again... honestly its just hard. I love when you reach out, so keep it comin' but when there's no good news, sharing it even more than once can bring me down, and I'm really focusing on keeping a positive mindset and choosing happiness as often as I can. 
  3. And the most important reason of all of them is JESUS. This life on earth is temporary. Our bodies are temporary. Our things are temporary, and even our worldly relationships with other humans are not guaranteed to be eternal. The past year has been hard. And I mean HARD. And to this point, the only gain has been our own personal and spiritual growth, but that's not God's only desire. He desires to be glorified and worshiped and shared boldly. And so that's what I hope to do. In the midst of a heartbreaking situation, God is still good. He has shown His presence in our lives and even during this season of pain and confusion. And if just one person comes to know God's love and comfort just a little bit better, this journey has not been in vain. 
Even the name of my blog 'fits'. If you were to google "anchors aweigh", you would find out that it is not only the fight song of the US Navy but is also the name of a movie from the 40s. If you were to read a little bit more, you would find the term to "weigh anchor" is to bring the anchor aboard a ship in preparation for departure, and the phrase "anchor's aweigh" is a report that the anchor is clear of the sea bottom & that the ship is officially underway.
Wow. I created this blog and its title over two years ago, but for some reason I can't help but think that God was providing a platform to be shared and glorified.


Anyway, now a quick update on mom: 
  • She is home from the hospital! Praise Jesus. Previously she was living with her sister and brother-in-law but the environment was not nurturing or comforting (to say the least) and because she was living so far away from us, providing help and even company was difficult. So over the past few weeks, we've made arrangements and during my mom's hospital stay we got all of her stuff moved into our place. We aren't naive enough to think that a major adjustment won't be taking place, but we're nonetheless happy and comforted to have her in our home and under our "supervision". 
  • Her meds were delivered late last night after she got home and we're working on getting her to a good balance of pain relief and a clear mind... which isn't easy when narcotics are involved but our priority is pain management. She already has a medical marijuana card and has used it a little up until this point, but we'd like to make it more of a regular and scheduled form of pain relief. Any and all expertise in this area would truly be appreciated. 
  • She has two more scheduled rounds of palliative radiation in order to stop her bleeding, and we've made sure to keep the rounds to a small amount in case she has a need for more in the future. (If we chose to do a larger amount now, she would be limited if she needed more later because her body can only handle so much radiation). 
  • As for hospice, both my dad and grandparents passed gracefully with the help Hospice of the Valley and so my mom was very adamant that we use them over any other hospice. We're still getting adjusted but we're welcoming their help, knowledge, and resources. 
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And lastly for now, SO MANY of you have offered up help in different ways. We are SO grateful for each and every one of you and your offers. Right now, we are adjusting and settling in and that's where are heads are at but we DO have needs and I believe that soon, we will be more prepared to let you all know how you can help. Although we will pray expectantly for God's grace and miracles, we will also prepare for my mom to join the Lord. Personally, that means granting her wishes as well as providing love, company, and comfort as much as possible. So far, she has only vocalized going to a farm... away from the city and with animals. So if you have any connections or know of one in our area, please let me know. Other than that, for now we can only ask you to continue praying. We are grateful for EACH AND EVERY one of you. Thank you.

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